Left Behind - an ode to solitude

Left Behind

 

When your loved ones leave you in a lurch,

And ignore you as they sit atop their perch,

A stone over your heart shaped hole you must keep,

And promise not to sink down nor weep….

 

For there is always a reason when you are tossed aside,

Like a container off the deck, now the waves you must ride,

Mutter and Shout in pride, but a pale sorrowful tune soon overcomes,

When even the spirits feel somber, in those dreadful doldrums…

 

With time, rationality rules and the blood mist drains,

Overdone Steaks of Emotional flesh are now charred remains,

From the pyre, rises a fervent flatulence of acrid remarks,

Which taints every rancorous rendezvous of the scornful sharks…

 

It is an endless and vicious cycle till one of them gives way,

And makes up with an act of love, brings light to the day,

The other, relishing kindness and fraught with fences, realizes folly,

And soon enough, most things are jolly…

 

A lesson, time immemorial you must imbibe,

Dutifully preach to your brethren and children alike,

That endless fathoms within your soul, you must covet nothing at all,

And only in sorrowful solitude, your inner peace you will recall …

My solitary rhyme - me, myself and I

 

As I sit and wander my never-ending days away,

At time’s side, bodily busy, but mentally idle—all night and day,

I crave the company of my comrades long gone,

Whose exodus from my little island, reasonless, has left me alone…

While I slowly submerge into in the placid lake of learning,

Unbiased and Unblemished, screams my yearning,

For the presence of the another human’s voice and play,

And no amount of knowledge acquired makes it go away...

 

As I emerge outwards from the sea, gasping for breath,

Familiar faces surround me, they have arrived in stealth,

Unbridled Joy usurps my solitary affliction,

And my morose heart leaps with random precision…

 

“You finally came” , says I to them with glee,

Faced with stony stares with a concealed plea,

While the storm brews within and waiting to destroy,

I am dumb-struck - but pretend to be coy…

 

Tireless Tirades of nonchalant banter now fill the furnace,

And I, bitter and helpless, do rest my case,

For words cannot express the grief I hold in my heart,

Where do I end, and where do I start?

 

Why, O Why my friends, have you my love, shunned?

Our intimate bridges, why have you burnt?

Pray Why, have you forgotten the good old times,

When days were like dreams, and happiness flowed like wines…

 

Like a Solitary match waiting to burn, I wait and wait my turn….

 

A Rolling Stone, I

 

 

As I roll, a moss less stone through the days of my life,

Surmounting storms and sailing through strife,

And turning the enriching leaves of wisdom gained,

I ever long a foe or friend with permanence ordained…

 

True to his word, he sought vengeance with might,

But it was his absence that caused me the plight,

The table was set and hatred served aplenty,

I waited in vain, feigning disquieting dainty…

 

Then there was the time when he was bosom,

Ambitious, nay Delirious designs, with joys at ransom,

Sudden proclivities giving way to games played with a poker face,

And his sudden departure without notice or trace…

 

When pale and wanton, though thrill full came death,

With ascending wisdom, and my last breath,

I grasped the misery of a solitary grave,

Without friends to mourn, or foes to hate…

 

What was salvaged in the lakes of learning,

Was lost in empty bouts of social yearning,

With a sponge for a soul, and a vagabond at heart,

I had no time to devote, nor love to pour, only cynicism to part…

 

So rests the pen, till we meet again…

­­­                          The Solitary Bench

The solitary bench on which souls unite,

At the days end when there is no strength to fight,

Where words are lost, but gazes play,

And the moist breeze dances your way…

You wait for the other to start the game,

“End bitterness and call my name”,

Stir up feelings from thy placid heart,

There is always time to start…

And then, little things go a long way,

Querulous questions, I am afraid to stay,

Now hands crawl up and arbitrate the act,

“I am sorry, let’s make a pact”…

When winged creatures in the firmament fly,

And our eyes and mind are bound to try,

To wonder how they travel together,

Then accept that we long each other…

Fears once brooding, have now alienated thought,

A gentle rain of enamored emotions end that drought,

Embraces and care confirm those feelings,

Those trite grazes yet momentous beginnings…

As we rise from the bench, with hope in heart,

Few steps down the road, we must part…

“We were never meant to be”, hums the little rascal bee…

Lucid Dreams

At the end of a tired day which was full of neither joy nor sorrow,

I put myself to sleep, and nonchalantly await the ‘morrow,

The crickets sing their doleful song, their voices in unison,

Before I count to 10, I am already out of mention…

The door to a new world, likes locked and fettered,

With chains in my head, and the key in my heart,

I wish to unlock the hallowed gates to the kingdom of the stalwart,

I wince in pain. Turn in sweat, run for cover…

I ride the waves; I am yet again, a raft on a raging sea,

I race the wind, ride the tide, I am high as a bee,

And suddenly the ocean, drains down my toilet – am I back?

No, it’s just the dull clicking of my nervous brain-clock, as the dawn dogs bark…

Within my immaculate imagination of systematic chaos,

I have found a way to control – my own Lucid Dreams,

When your reality sleeps, and sub-conscious wakes, powerful it seems,

Divinity nigh, but transcendence distant, I have finally found a world I love…

Beep Beep Beep, 10:30 AM, “I am not finished yet”,

But Time and Tide wait for none, the wise men have bet,

Slugging back – a longer walk – the gates of the garden close,

I must rise; carry on with my day, live my share of reality’s dose…

And the cycle goes on, making me stronger every night,

The day is not far away, when the dream-world will be my right….

777

To Youth and Beyond

There was a time, when I was tender,

As a flower bud, ready to surrender,

No Evil had touched my heart,

Unblemished, I rose from the earthly dirt…

Time ebbed by, as the anger within seethed a storm,

So placid, yet restless as the heart of an atom,

The experience of pain, the boredom of days,

Timid glances, which deceive my nefarious ways…

Minions of mercy, forgive my satanic sacrilege,

Tumultuous roar, I look back, turn the page,

I plunge into myself, my silent soul, “Have I come off age?”

And my heart beats to answer, you vile seeker of self-praise.

With youth, comes a promising but poignant adventure,

Love and hate, friendship and enmity, an overture of rapture,

On the stage, we shall stay, and play ourselves some more,

Till Senescent Serenity strolls in, and opens the door…

Sigh, Cough, Jerk …

Am I young, Am I old, Am I fit, Am I sick, Am I handsome, Am I scarred, Am I charming, Am I boring…

Questions with answers understood, yet untold,

I, pretender shall speak no more…

Man or Machine–Its true

I rise at 8 to the sound of my phone, thus begins my work day,

I don’t eat my break-fast; I must rush, so I walk away,

Ebbing my way through morning traffic, dust and smoke dim the ray,

Blaring horns and classic rock – a fabulous fusion, I dare say!

Flash my id at the sentry, enter the sweatshop of madness,

“Where should I park today?”, only adds to my early-morning stress,

As I close the door of my car and walk into the building,

Within the depths of my head, I hear a silent ringing…

Do you really want to go in?

Ignore it today, I say to myself, just like every other day.

I meander across the creepy corridors, travel to my bay,

Plastic smiles and hollow handshakes are omens of the workplace,

Stone cold cynicism and small-talk, straight to my face…

Its 11, I warm my chair and commence my work, pending from yesterday,

But Wait – let me login to facebook, I want to know what she had to say,

An hour well spent, I rejoice, silently, but in glee,

Till my supervisor walks in with a ton of work and puts me to sea…

I struggle with a plethora of dots, slashes, green, red and blue on white,

12 45 PM – It’s already lunchtime, right?

So I gather my comrades, and run to the elevator,

With silent prayers, that the food today, will definitely taste better…

Alas, my hopes are crushed, stone hard rotis I must gulp,

Beat my steely potatoes down to pulp,

Crib about all things there are to crib about,

My supervisor, the focus of dialogue, without a doubt…

The rest of my day, well-spent in meetings,

Quite a few, but I sleep through many,

Detailed slides and Pointless discussions: Cups of coffees emptied, and cold steel trays,

Throbbing Headaches, and nauseated nods, betray, an eagerness to get away…

1800, its time to leave, so say goodbye to mates at work,

Surely and soundly, I trod the grass; reach my car before its dark,

But the phone suddenly beeps, an email – “Critical Situation, Report to bay! “,

A false alarm, to the lord I pray….

2300, Teary but defiant, I stare at my monitor,

The voice buzzes again - It’s almost over, just a few minutes longer,

A click here, a scroll there, draw my fullest attention,

I scream with joy, “It’s over !” – Tomorrow I shall get a mention….

On the cold dark road, where lovers pass me by, I hurry back home.

To find my dearest daughter, sleeping all alone,

A timid glance at my phone through the corner of my eye,

“I missed her birthday, Oh Dear, Oh My!“

There is no place for love, no room for rest, nor time for celebration,

In the mesh of work, the logic of reasons, at a race pace,

The routine is rotten, but money begotten, thus the cycle prevails,

So Wonder “Am I man or machine? “, and fill in the details…

The mention never comes …